Stormz' Life; Chapter Five, Taken by the Night.
Well, I just absolutely-positively-ultra-extraordinarily give up. Repeated attempts to fix my sleeping pattern have failed, miserably.
I managed to stay up until about 10-11am on Saturday, it was a good start. I awoke around the 9pm mark, and began my endless wander into the night. Computering all night, I was shocked to find myself tired at about 5am... Realising this would be good, I went to bed and woke up at 12pm..
At first, I was pleased to have awakened myself at 12pm, as to me (normally), this was an EXCELLENT way to fix my sleep pattern, simply go to bed at about 12am and boom, quite well fixed.
BZZZZZZT.
Didn't work.
Ended up getting sleepy at some point, bla di bla di bla, went to bed about 6am yesterday and slept until like.. uh.. 12pm? I thinkz. So yes, I was quite disappointed. HOWEVER!! I was very pleased to find my body EXTREMELY exhausted all afternoon.. Tried to nap at 2pm, Body exhausted, mind not ready. Fine, ok, it'll keep me awake. Tried to nap at 4pm, Body yelling at me, mind still not ready.. Geez, I said, I'll stay up a bit longer.. When I finally made it to 6pm I was like "YAY!!!".. I thought this would get me until at the very LEAST! 1-2am.. I was pretty sure I could fix it from there. But noooo, I wake up at about 10pm last night.. I was very sad.. :(. So, liek yeah, I finally got on the computer at 2am this morning (damn Nat >_>) so I had his Mocha ^^. Dunno whether he knew it was his. Meh, I say.
Now, I know that I complain about Josh a lot.. But.. I don't want people to get the wrong impression.. I DO really care about him.. I see him (not literally) doing poorly at school, he tells me he chats instead of doing work.. I see his attitude slowly turning incredibly nasty.. He used to be a little bit nicer.. I'm extremely worried about this.. I don't want him to start turning sloppy and mess up his life.. This'll sound odd, but I have shed tears over this.. I, just, don't want him to make the same mistakes that I have in my life..
Yesterday he didn't go to school.. Don't know if he was sick, but he wasn't acting it yesterday. I was pretty annoyed.. When I use to attend school the rules were (between us), "If you don't go to school, you don't get on the computer." but lately, this rule has just gone to the gutter.
What I want him to know is that if he decides to stay home, sick or not, that he shouldn't just automatically expect to go on the computer, which he does. See, I figure, if he IS sick, he should be resting.. I don't want him to see the idea as "Don't go to school and just play computer all day."
Mum saw this differently however, she ruled that he was to go on.. He went on for about 4-5 hours last night *disappointed*. I can argue, and argue, and argue, but my reasoning has no backbone.. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, nothing matters because I don't go to school, even though in my opinion the situation is ENTIRELY different.. *sigh*.
It's not that I wanted him to not go on so I could stay on though, I would have gladly gotten off for any period of time.. I just didn't want him to go on.
*taps chin* Hmm... What else..
Oh, one other thing about Josh.. As I don't leave the house right now, he has pretty much just taken over my Yu-gi-oh! Cards. (I play, it's a hobbie, meh.) He just takes all my cards for my deck, and shoves words into my mouth like "Can't I just sell them?" and things like that. IF I WANTED YOU TO SELL THEM OR USE THEM I WOULD HAVE JUST SAID SO. He is always saying things like "Just go to bed Zac, don't come with us Zac, you know you won't come with us Zac.." Or, if he's losing an argument. "WELL AT LEAST I GO TO SCHOOL, GO DIE or GO JUMP OFF A CLIFF.."
Yay for my low self-esteem and weak personality.
I'm sorry I don't have anything interesting to talk about.. I don't do anything, so.. =(.
I want to start saving up for games for myself.. But I'm not sure how. I don't receive Pocket Money (due to funds being needed for bills + food), and as you know, I don't leave the house. Any ideas? Some may say to just sell my cards, but when I get better I may want to start playing again.
Well, I can't think of anything else for now. Catch ya all later.
I managed to stay up until about 10-11am on Saturday, it was a good start. I awoke around the 9pm mark, and began my endless wander into the night. Computering all night, I was shocked to find myself tired at about 5am... Realising this would be good, I went to bed and woke up at 12pm..
At first, I was pleased to have awakened myself at 12pm, as to me (normally), this was an EXCELLENT way to fix my sleep pattern, simply go to bed at about 12am and boom, quite well fixed.
BZZZZZZT.
Didn't work.
Ended up getting sleepy at some point, bla di bla di bla, went to bed about 6am yesterday and slept until like.. uh.. 12pm? I thinkz. So yes, I was quite disappointed. HOWEVER!! I was very pleased to find my body EXTREMELY exhausted all afternoon.. Tried to nap at 2pm, Body exhausted, mind not ready. Fine, ok, it'll keep me awake. Tried to nap at 4pm, Body yelling at me, mind still not ready.. Geez, I said, I'll stay up a bit longer.. When I finally made it to 6pm I was like "YAY!!!".. I thought this would get me until at the very LEAST! 1-2am.. I was pretty sure I could fix it from there. But noooo, I wake up at about 10pm last night.. I was very sad.. :(. So, liek yeah, I finally got on the computer at 2am this morning (damn Nat >_>) so I had his Mocha ^^. Dunno whether he knew it was his. Meh, I say.
Now, I know that I complain about Josh a lot.. But.. I don't want people to get the wrong impression.. I DO really care about him.. I see him (not literally) doing poorly at school, he tells me he chats instead of doing work.. I see his attitude slowly turning incredibly nasty.. He used to be a little bit nicer.. I'm extremely worried about this.. I don't want him to start turning sloppy and mess up his life.. This'll sound odd, but I have shed tears over this.. I, just, don't want him to make the same mistakes that I have in my life..
Yesterday he didn't go to school.. Don't know if he was sick, but he wasn't acting it yesterday. I was pretty annoyed.. When I use to attend school the rules were (between us), "If you don't go to school, you don't get on the computer." but lately, this rule has just gone to the gutter.
What I want him to know is that if he decides to stay home, sick or not, that he shouldn't just automatically expect to go on the computer, which he does. See, I figure, if he IS sick, he should be resting.. I don't want him to see the idea as "Don't go to school and just play computer all day."
Mum saw this differently however, she ruled that he was to go on.. He went on for about 4-5 hours last night *disappointed*. I can argue, and argue, and argue, but my reasoning has no backbone.. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, nothing matters because I don't go to school, even though in my opinion the situation is ENTIRELY different.. *sigh*.
It's not that I wanted him to not go on so I could stay on though, I would have gladly gotten off for any period of time.. I just didn't want him to go on.
*taps chin* Hmm... What else..
Oh, one other thing about Josh.. As I don't leave the house right now, he has pretty much just taken over my Yu-gi-oh! Cards. (I play, it's a hobbie, meh.) He just takes all my cards for my deck, and shoves words into my mouth like "Can't I just sell them?" and things like that. IF I WANTED YOU TO SELL THEM OR USE THEM I WOULD HAVE JUST SAID SO. He is always saying things like "Just go to bed Zac, don't come with us Zac, you know you won't come with us Zac.." Or, if he's losing an argument. "WELL AT LEAST I GO TO SCHOOL, GO DIE or GO JUMP OFF A CLIFF.."
Yay for my low self-esteem and weak personality.
I'm sorry I don't have anything interesting to talk about.. I don't do anything, so.. =(.
I want to start saving up for games for myself.. But I'm not sure how. I don't receive Pocket Money (due to funds being needed for bills + food), and as you know, I don't leave the house. Any ideas? Some may say to just sell my cards, but when I get better I may want to start playing again.
Well, I can't think of anything else for now. Catch ya all later.
Its sort of weird, huh?
Whats up with him now?
He's been changing for a while now, though huh?
(Comment this)
*recalls self saying, "I think it'll be cool to stay up untill 3.00-4.00am"*
But ah well. As long as you DO actually sleep it's all good =)
...sorta. (Comment this)